Overcome Comparison and Celebrate Individuality


“Comparison is the thief of joy.”

Many of us have been in this toxic situation where we compare ourselves to people we see on the internet. Whether it is a celebrity, blogger, or a friend – we have all done it.

We start to wish for things, we start to feel sad, depressed, and angry. These heavy emotions then get the best of us and we crumble – mentally.

For us to have joy in ourselves and our lives, we must learn to get rid of negative emotions. Here are some ways you can turn feelings of jealousy into feelings of admiration.

There are three common areas of comparison: appearances, relationships, and finances.

Luci Wormell smiling and posing in front of flowers for her article on comparison.
Luci Wormell smiling and posing in front of flowers for her article on comparison.

1. Appearances : How many times do you catch yourself wishing you looked like the super model the magazine or have gorgeous eyes like your friends? Have you ever wished you were taller? How about skinner? We all have insecurities. I have so many I lost count but would anyone know that I do? Not unless you are a close friend of mine. The reason being is I have learned to love my insecurities, my flaws, my perfect imperfections. What you believe is a flaw, only you can see/tell because you are your hardest critic. If you don’t point them out, no one will know. Trust me.

The next time you “wished” you looked like someone else, don’t. instead, admire the other person’s appearance. Compliment them instead of being jealous of them.

“Her eyes are so pretty, it really sparkles.”
“I love how dedicated she is to physical health. That really inspire me to be healthier.”
“Her hair is beautiful; I should ask her for some tips and tricks.”

2. Relationships: You see a happy couple, holding hands, kissing, and just completely infatuated with one another – you wish your relationship was like theirs. That is only a short moment you are seeing… every relationship has bumps and curveballs.

For some people, they like to document only the happy times so they could look back on the memories. This is SO important to remember. As an outsider, you might think their relationship is a fairy-tale, heaven sent, perfect, without any problems. Sure – it’s a healthy relationship but that doesn’t mean the couple does not have disagreements or bad days.
The healthy thing to do here is to be inspired by that couple. See what they are doing that is making their love so beautiful. I want to exaggerate the emotion – BE INSPIRED. I often hear people feeling sad about their own relationship because it’s not like the person they see online.

You don’t want to live someone else’s love story. Wouldn’t you rather create and write your own?

3. Finances

 It’s going to get cliché but “money does not buy happiness.” If you want to travel, you can. EVEN WITH A BUDGET! Right now, you don’t have the means for South America but you do for a weekend away from home (a staycation or even to another coast). Traveling does not mean you must be thousands of miles away from home to enjoy a different culture.

One of my favorite things to do is drive to California for 24 hours. The only things I had to pay for were gas and food. California is only 6 hours away from where I live but it is a completely different culture. The food, the people, the air – it is different.

The main thing to remember is, be happy with where you are in your life.

Luci Wormell smiling and posing in front of flowers for her article on comparison.

Article by Luci Wormell. Images by Jonathan Allison. You can view more content by Luci on her blog here or on her Instagram here

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  1. Excellent post! I can especially relate to numbers 2 and 3. I like to post the “happy’ photos on social media, just like most people, but I know that they are not always my reality. My husband and I have ups and downs, just like everyone else. In my latest blog post, I share about my recent mini-vacation. I don’t stray far from home, because I’m a part-time student. Thank you for the post!

  2. I love this! I hope many people read it and become inspired to have more self love and practice kindness towards other. We all need to spread more love and light because life can be tough sometimes and you never really know the battles people are fighting. Y’all are such amazing role models for everyone!