3 Tactics for Making Meaningful Friendships in Your Twenties
BY KATELYN KOSINSKI
Making friends as an adult can be a challenge that no one really prepares you for. I vividly recall those completely blissed out summer months after graduation when you’re high on the thought of never taking exams again and full of optimism for the future. As you and your friends begin to map out what your new young adult lives will look like that joy often becomes bittersweet. It’s not uncommon for this to be the time when you or your friends make cross country moves or some of your gal pals choose to spend more time with their significant others, or maybe even become strangers while focusing diligently on their career. As you reach your late twenties, friends are beginning to start families and then there are those people you just begin to feel you don’t have as much in common with anymore. It’s pretty likely that somewhere in your twenties you’ll find yourself in different life circumstances that requires you to find new like-minded people to spend your Saturdays with. As someone who has experienced these lifestyle shifts and has been the one who’s moved away from good friends (more than once) I’ve picked up some strategies for making new meaningful friendships along the way!
1. Say Yes to Social Invitations by New People – You might say, “but if I knew new people I wouldn’t be reading this!” What about a co-worker you’ve never hung out with outside of work, that girl who takes the same barre class as you each Monday, or an old friend. Don’t be afraid to reach out and tell people your situation. To an introvert like myself this task may seem daunting and it’s important to know your limit. If one event per week feels like your max for hanging around new people then go with that. When I first moved to Sydney I knew one person who invited me to just about every social event he attended. I said yes to whatever worked with my schedule and from there was introduced to a handful of people each time. Not every event promised a friend though. It takes a few tries and bit of hit and miss at first, but when you finally meet some people that you jive with it feels great! So even if the initial person you’re hanging out with doesn’t become your new bestie, they may be able to introduce you to someone who will be!
2. Pick up a part-time job or volunteer – If you find yourself spending multiple weekends alone with not much to do, this is a good option for you. You can meet new people while doing a good deed or making money at the same time. Try to choose somewhere hobby specific, for example working at Lululemon if you love to run, or volunteering at the art museum if creating is something you’re passionate about. If your work during the week is incredibly demanding remember that a gig like this can be fun, stress-relieving, and temporary!
3. Utilize technology – I’ve met so many of my very close friends on Instagram! As a blogger, who shares a lot of her life online, it’s a little less intimidating to reach out to someone on Instagram to meet up with. They quickly can get a good idea of what you’re about and that you have good intentions, but if you don’t feel comfortable reaching out to like-minded individuals via IG, Bumble BFF is a great option too! Be selective about who you’re swiping right on and definitely take the time to read through potential besties profiles to search for commonalities.
Now comes the important part, how to turn these possibly one-time acquaintances into friends that last! I’ve found that going a little bit above and beyond can make all of the difference. When you’re talking with someone that you’re vibing well with be sure to grab their contact info, including social media handles. I find that it’s easiest once you are following each other on social to get a good idea of what that person likes to do and scope out what you have in common. This will help you avoid the awkward “we should hang out sometime” comment that is so often made with no follow through. If you see a latte photo, ask her to meet up for coffee. A beautiful snap of outdoor scenery? Ask if she’d like to join you for a hike! Secondly, do it in a timely manner, preferably within a week or so of meeting each other. It will take some initiative and confidence on your end, but in a few weeks when you’ve got yourself a gym buddy and wine night companion it will be so worth it!
Katelyn is an adventurous girl from the midwest who has a B.S. in Psychology, writes for her own life + style blog at katelynnow.com, and is currently residing in sunny Sydney, Australia.
Hi there, I’m Katelyn! I am a lifestyle blogger from Milwaukee, Wisconsin and I’m currently residing in sunny Sydney, Australia! I whole-heartedly believe in following your intuition and the flow of your life (so cheesy I know) and that has lead me to living in 4 different cities in the past 3 years. Some of my favorite ways to spend my time are reading inspirational nonfiction books, sweating it out in group exercises classes and sipping a soy latte while strolling through a city with friends. I have my Bachelor of Science in Psychology which has influenced my desire to share about personal growth and wellness on my blog, Katelyn Now, where I also write about my passions of fashion and travel!
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