How was your weekend?! I hope it was good! These photos are from a couple weeks ago. Since we have the studio at our BFBH offices I quickly had David snap a pic when the kids came to visit me and they ended up being some of my favorite pics ever!! Lately I have really been struggling getting mentally ready to leave for our Europe trip. I am going to Europe for 12 days without David or the kids. At first David was going to come with me but we were both feeling really uneasy about leaving the kids for that long.. and David said he wanted to be home for a project we are working on so he volunteered to stay home. It instantly made me feel so much better but I am still having a hard time knowing I am leaving them for so long. It is technically a work trip but in my mind it feels selfish to leave the kids to go to Europe even though I know its not the case. I keep trying to figure out why I have this extreme guilt about leaving because I know so many men who travel for work and are gone 3 days a week or even weeks at a time. No one thinks anything of it, I don’t think anything of it. It is for work, he is providing for his family, so why should he feel guilty for leaving? Yet here I am about to leave feeling so guilty. It makes no sense and I keep trying to tell myself that but anytime I think about it tears well up in my eyes.
I remember leaving the kids and David for 6 days when I had to go to Utah for the shoots we did in Utah getting ready to launch Barefoot Blonde Hair. That was only 6 days and I remember getting home and just bawling because the kids felt so much bigger when I held them!!!! It made me so sad. Leading up to me leaving I just want to spend every single waking minute with them so that when I have to leave I am kind of ready for a break.. and that way mayyybe for the first few days I feel relieved to have a break?! Maybe?! Thank heavens for FaceTime. And I think I am going to leave little gifts for them to open each day I am gone. What do you guys do if you have to leave your kids? What makes you feel better?
Emails To My Kids
Since Atticus was born I have written emails to him and now Rosie too. I started with a baby book and quickly realized that a physical book didn’t make sense for me because most of the time when I get the urge to write to them, its when I am in bed at night thinking about them. So now every couple months or just whenever I feel like it, I write them an email with updates on what they are into, funny things they say, what I love about them, and just favorite memories from those couple months. I of course would prefer for my kids to one day have hand written letters but it also makes me nervous that I would lose them. This way I will never lose them and I know I will actually write them. Every time I write an email to them I am crying the biggest tears by the end.
Do you guys do emails or letters to your kids? I know this is such a morbid thought but I actually considered writing them emails for graduation day, wedding day, and when they have a baby…. JUST in case something happened. I know that is bad to think about buuut I have a feeling I am not the only mother who thinks about that scenario?!