So we decided to make another vlog – I cant even tell you how embarrassing they are to watch back to me ha I literally have to post them and never look back because they make me cringe big time. I hate seeing myself talk on camera – its like ahhh I sound like that?! Anyways I normally would delete all of the weird clips of us goofing around but decided to leave them this time even though they are kinda embarrassing ha. So watch at your own discretion!
These pics were from our last day in Paris and as dumb as it sounds both David and I felt extra close to Atticus this trip and especially since we have been home. He was just so fun to have with us and I swear traveling builds an extra bond or something – we both would stay up for hours at night after putting him to bed just talking about him and laughing at the recap of our day. Thank heavens we have spouses because heaven knew we would need someone who would willingly tolerate and participate in marathon long conversations about your child! One day we were in Paris he was such a handful – just all over the place wanting to run a muck all over the city and wouldn’t just relax even for a second.. he literally almost tore apart Gap and we debated going and asking them how much we would have to pay them just to let him tear everything apart (birthday party idea?! lol) – I had no energy to stop him every two seconds (but did anyways, dont worry). The night before I had only got 3 hours of sleep because my acid reflux was so bad I had to sit up most the night and I just couldnt fall asleep so I was extra tired. It was the first time I had a day where I felt like “I can’t do this. I don’t know how I am going to handle two kids.” and I felt like I had no confidence in my mothering skills and was just feeling kinda down wondering how I am going to keep up with him. Then of course he comes up to me and hugs me so tight – just when I needed it and instant heart melt and it was all better. David and I had our date night and we spent so much of the night laughing our heads off at all the funny things he had done that day and I realized as much as I feel inadequate I am truly so happy that I somehow got lucky enough to be his mom and I love that he pushes me. I literally have no idea what I am doing and I am certainly not the mom that is giving her kid organic everything, has a perfect schedule, house clean, no cartoons, etc (props and an applause to you moms) but gosh is he (and me) happy so I am going with it! Sorry for the cheesy rant but ya know sometimes being a mom is like experiencing every emoji in a day and especially pregnant its like “HOW MANY EMOTIONS CAN I FEEL TODAY?” A lot. The answer is a lot.