How to Exercise Self-Love

BY LUCI WORMELL

If you look up the word self-love, you might get the definition, “regard for one’s own well-being and happiness.” Today, many of us are unsuccessful in this area. There are many factors that come into play and the reasoning behind why we don’t love ourselves more than we should.

For the longest time, I denied any type of happiness that came my way. In my mind, I was undeserving of these things. It was a mental distortion. Last year, I learned to let others love me, allowed myself to love me and embraced the good that comes my way.

All of you are worthy of self-love and happiness. Here are 5 ways to learn to love yourself. It takes practice and time, but if you do it daily, you will soon feel better and lighter.

5 Ways to Learn to Love Yourself

1. GOOD MORNING BEAUTIFUL : Look in the mirror and tell yourself one thing you love about yourself. It could be a physical feature: eyes, hair, smile. Or it could be something else: handwriting, fashion style, tidiness, punctuality, etc. Whatever it may be, look in the mirror and tell yourself these positive things followed by a “… and I am beautiful.” Do this daily.

2. GOODBYE NEGATIVITY : During the day if you catch yourself with a negative thought, stop thinking it. Instead, replace it with something positive. You might be thinking, “Well I don’t have anything possible to say about myself.” You’re wrong. If you call your mom right now, what would she say about you? If you call your best friend, what would she say about you? If you have a spouse or significant other, what would they say about you if you were to call them? I bet you, they would list all the things that make you an amazing daughter, friend, and wife/mother. The list of positives will outweigh the negatives. So, say goodbye to that negative thought immediately. Don’t let it get any further than a thought. Acknowledge it and stop it.

3. COMPLIMENT YOUR NEIGHBOR. When you compliment others, you replace jealousy with kindness. As a woman, this is a huge challenge. We are always comparing ourselves, DON’T!

I used to compare myself: I’m not tall enough, pretty enough, talented enough, etc. I dyed my hair blonde thinking that would make me more beautiful, I was wrong. I still felt the same. Self-love starts from within. As soon as I stopped comparing myself and compliment others, I felt so much better. It feels good inside to tell someone, “Hey you’re beautiful,” or “I love that color on you, you look amazing!” The smile that you see coming from the receiving party, there’s nothing better. You just made their day and also yours by being an example of kindness.

4. BE A YES PERSON. Lack of self-love also means lack of motivation. When we allow ourselves to be alone, we are allowing ourselves to feel unhappy. If you get invited to a social event (doesn’t have to be a party), say, “YES.” If there is something you’ve been wanting to try, say, “YES.” Do more things that make you happy. Be adventurous. Be spontaneous. SAY YES!

5. UNPLUGGED : At the end of the day, give yourself some time to relax and reflect. Put your phone away, grab your favorite snack, and treat yourself. During this time, you can read a book, watch your favorite show, or take a nice bath. Take your time, don’t rush. This is your time to unwind and reflect. Tell yourself something that you enjoyed about the day. Tell yourself something that you love about yourself. Tell yourself something that you could work on for tomorrow..

Self-love is something we must work on daily. It also takes so much practice. For someone who have always struggled with self-love, it won’t be an overnight thing. Learning to love yourself, love your flaws, love who you are, it’s hard. But that doesn’t mean you’re not worthy of it, you are, we all are.

 “I am not what happened to me, I am what I choose to become.”-Unknown.

The past does not define us. Choose to be loved and to be happy.

Article by Luci Wormell. Images by Jonathan Allison. You can view more content by Luci on her blog here or on her Instagram here

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People look at my Instagram account and question my mental health. I’ve received multiple messages alongside of, “How could you possibly be depressed? You seem happy.” I chuckled a bit not out of disrespect but because I’ve come a long way. The smiling face that you see in my posts is a genuine smile that I have not had for years.

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  1. Well, all of it looks fine, but where should a standart mom of a toddler find any time for herself? I can’t even wash my face being alone in tbe bathroom 😁

    With kind regards, Guilia.
    Ftom Russia with love!

    1. Hey Giulia!
      I think what you just said about your current lifestyle says a lot about the beautiful human you are! You are so busy raising, nurturing and caring for an other human that you feel like you don’t have time for yourself! What if when you are playing with your toddler and naturally are encouring and complimenting them, that could be the time that reminds you to compliment yourself!
      I have 3 little kids and I find the good in myself just by watching my kids. They have learned to kiss owies better, share with each other and love to read because I have taught them things things. I hope when you see the good in your child it will remind you about all the good you are doing 💜

      http://Www.chessaguthrie.com

      1. Thanks Chessa!
        Your words are wise, really. All of this care is a big job anyway. And yes, looking at our babies and seeing there emotions, love, progress means so much! I gonna stay in the moment more often!

    2. Hello Giulia
      I’m in the same boat as you. I have a 3 year old and a 1 year old. It’s so hard to find time for ourselves. I’ve just started listening to podcasts whilst playing with my kids or just when I’m doing jobs. I’ve found a really good one called ‘happy mum happy baby’ it’s interviews with moms about motherhood etc. Listening to them feels like ‘me time’ even though I’m not on my own. Also I make sure the minute my kids are in bed I spend time on myself, all other jobs can wait. I feel so much happier since spending more time on myself and I’m a better mum. Hope this helps. Lots of love from England. Gemma

      1. Thank you Gemma so much! Sometimes I do listen to music or a podcast whilst being with my baby, but it’s productive only if the baby’s calm and quiet, and I can focus on the speech. As for sleeping time, I try to do something for myself, but usually all I got is just 45-60 minutes, cause soon he wakes up and I have to lay to him (we’re on breastfeeding).

        1. motherhood can be so hard but we’re all in it together. This phase won’t last forever. You’re doing an amazing job. How old is your little one? X

          1. Thanks for appealing words! My son is gonna be 2yo in 3 weeks, wow, so soon 🙂